love

Question 30 – Write a letter to your future mate saying whatever you want to say

Deeply personal but its a nice question to end the challenge. I write this letter depicting a life with my future mate rather than a laundry list of characteristics I’d like to have in him.

To Him with Love,
My reality surpassed my dreams when I met you. A quiet calmness when we’re together… no stress and no pressure. Not once you’ve made me cry always showing me the things that make human beings special…make me special. You bring that smile to my face when you call and it makes tasks more fulfilling through the day. I think of you and pay attention to things that will make you smile too. I opened my heart and you lit flames of friendship and love I cherish to this day with hope and security that I’m going to love you forever and another day. As deeply as I am loved by you which gives me strength…loving you deeply gives you courage. Marriage is not perfect and when you and I can’t see eye to eye let us work to keep our love the same.

Yours truly
J
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Question 20-Describe your most difficult breakup and what you learned from it

In 2010, my relationship of five years ended. It was long distance but we’d see each other whenever possible. Unfortunately graduate school along with fears got in the way causing certain unforeseen actions to play out which I refused to forgive. It was difficult in the sense we established love, spoke of marriage after undergrad but plans changed on my part and I decided to go further with school. I asked him to wait (maybe selfish perhaps) but he tried to start something new and maintain our relationship. Nothing remains in the dark and I found out. I wasn’t angry at her, I was angry at him and at myself for maybe being too selfish. I didn’t accept his calls and apologies in the aftermath and we went our separate ways. My learnings from the relationship have been primarily positive opting to remember the good times, words in action and love nurtured. Souls may kiss but not necessarily stay together but that’s life! Pick yourself and try again!

Question 15- Narrate a conversation between you and someone in your life who you never had closure with (a friend, an ex, a family member, etc.) What would you say? What would they say? What outcome would you hope for?

Phone conversation with an ex

Me: Hello

Ex: I’m sorry J

Me: *silence as my heart recovers a love I had for this man and then quickly declines it

—-hangs up

Question 11- Your worst/funniest/most embarrassing date

So worst. I’d have to say when one of my best friends and I decided to ring in the new year in Naples, FL with the guys we were dating at the time. Well, I met the guy I was dating during a homecoming celebration one year. We started talking on the phone, getting to know each other better (we didn’t live in the same city) and I decided to invite him as my date to bring in the New Year . The three of us (best friend, her date and myself) arrived in Naples the evening of the 31st for our dinner reservation.Whilst at the restaurant and having a drink, my date calls three times to say I’m on my way and be there soon. We’re finishing dinner and he texts to say I can’t make it to Naples, something came up, I’ll tell you later. I was livid, I refused his calls and we headed out to the New Year’s party downtown. We had fun and after the party, I paid attention to a  river of texts from my no-show date and alas he’s calling again. This time I take the call and he begins to tell me his story. Bottom line, he was untruthful about things going on in his life including his living (apparently he was between jobs) and his financial situation which explained his absence. On the night we met, he felt he needed to be ‘that guy who has his life together’ to engage my interest. Fast forward… although he valued a friendship with me, friendship starts with truthfulness, which he understood.